Everyone has dreams, something they want to achieve in life. Some of them are short-term, others long-term. We will probably never achieve all of them, but no one can stop us from thinking about them and striving for them. As Sonia, I also have my dreams, and maybe even my goals. Will I fulfill them? I hope so.
Quite recently I managed to go to the shopping center en femme. I wasn’t too worried that someone would recognize me, because my mask covers most of my face. Unfortunately, the stress was there. I wanted go to the shoes store and do a little drugstore shopping. The first part went without a problem, I even managed to try on one pair of shoes. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find my size. The cosmetic shopping also went basically without any problems. However, I didn’t feel confident and Ii was very hot inside. I was afraid to unbutton my coat. I lacked confidence towards the end and wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. I would like to go shopping someday, try on clothes, walk around the whole mall, buy something nice. Without nerves, calmly, taking pleasure in every moment of communing with the female world of “shopping”.
And most of all, when it comes to clothes, I would like to go to a seamstress to have a dress made to measure for me, the one I dream of, from the materials I like best. I wonder if there are such tolerant ladies in my town. I hope so. After all, it’s their job and every customer means profit, no matter what it looks like.
It would also be nice to have a photo shoot as Sonia. To meet with a photographer, whether in a studio or outdoors and pose as a model in front of the lens. To have some photos that would finally be taken by someone who knows their craft. And from what I see online, this could be one of the easier dreams to realize. All you have to do is make an appointment with the photographer, pay for the session, hire a makeup artist and go to the studio. They don’t tend to make a problem out of a man being dressed as a woman, I see a lot of interesting sessions on Instagram. So you just need to want it (and have money of course).
Another dream or goal of mine is to go to a café in a female version. Order a coffee, something sweet and enjoy the atmosphere and who I am at the moment. Ideally, I would like to go with my other half. I know that it would be a big challenge for her and I would not want to force her to do anything. And I also know that people can react differently. Although there are some people like me who go out to people en femme, to cafés or restaurants. Speaking of the second one, my other dream is to go out to dinner at an exquisite place. To dress elegantly, put on a nice makeup, wear stilettos and eat a delicious food and drink good wine. All as a woman. That would be beautiful. But first I have to work on my image and voice to be ready for such outings.
I would also like to go to the cinema one day. It wouldn’t be so difficult, because it is dark in the cinema room. And nobody would look at me. Maybe before the entrance, but considering how many people pass there, I would rather not draw so much attention to myself. Of course my outfit would definitely not be flashy, it’s not my style. I prefer to blend in with the crowd. It would also be nice to go to the theater. There you can already dress nicer, after all, it is a higher culture. And all in all, just like in the cinema, it would be dark there too. It is not such a distant dream in my opinion.
But what I dream of most is going to the opera en femme. To wear a long dress (preferably sewn by a seamstress), to put on the best makeup, to work on my hair, to have the best stilettos on my feet. To feel like an elegant woman, the best version of this part of me, but at the same time not to stand out strongly from the crowd (although it is known that to the opera people go differently dressed, unfortunately, not all of them elegant). I think it would be my magnum opus as Sonia.
I have gathered some of these dreams. I would like to make them all come true, preferably with my fiancée. If I manage to fulfill any of them, I will surely share them with you on my blog. I hope that as soon as possible.