I don’t remember exactly whether it was me who proposed going out together or M. who did it. I would be more inclined to the second version. It surprised me a bit, I didn’t expect it to happen so soon after my first outing. I was excited that day. I was finally fulfilling my dreams, walking together was one of them.
When I first mentioned wanting to walk around the estate as Sonia, my other half was skeptical. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of me or she didn’t want to show me outside. She was afraid of other people’s reactions. We often see on TV or on the Internet when minorities are ridiculed, and it is better not to stand out from the crowd. She was afraid that someone on the street would recognize me as a man and attack me, verbally, by ridiculing me, yelling at me or, in the worst case, by getting into fights. I understood her fears perfectly, and I know that you can come across different people. However, I never intended to go to suspicious places, to walk in the dark parts of the city. I think it’s best to go out to people, maybe not necessarily crowded streets, but streets where you meet someone every few minutes. And if we prepare ourselves properly for the walk, I mean our “image”, then nothing bad should happen to us.
My outfit didn’t differ much from the previous one, I also wore black boots with heels (have I mentioned how I love the sound of clattering heels on the sidewalk?), the same coat, cap and scarf. I changed the skirt to a flared leather one, obviously belonging to my sweetie. I also wore a corset, one of my recent purchases. It made my figure more upright and hopefully made my waist narrower. I wonder if I didn’t look too stiff. I did my makeup rather subdued, no crazy stuff. When we were ready, we went out to the estate. It’s a strange feeling when I can’t hold my fiancee’s hand (we didn’t want to shock people that much). And of course we couldn’t talk too much, especially when someone was walking nearby. It was a little awkward. But we walked, and I enjoyed every moment. At one point M. took me under her arm, as “BFF” do. We wanted to be closer to each other.
The walk was not long, we reached the second housing estate. More and more people were passing us, our confidence was slowly fading. At least I thought so. The tension, the fear that someone would recognize me grew with every step. This is still not a normal situation for me, my body slowly started to give out signals that it is enough, it is time to go home. M. came to the same conclusion, and we went back the same way. Every time we passed someone, I looked down and pretended to be a shy girl. I don’t know how well that worked out. I’m curious to know what the people passing us thought, if they judged me at all, or if they just passed by without paying any attention. Ah, too bad I can’t read people’s minds, then everything would be easier. When we were approaching our place, M. asked if she wanted to take some pictures of me. I said why not. After all, it is good to have a souvenir of such moments. I still like to go back to those pictures and remember that walk.
The conclusion is that it is really nothing scary to go outside. I am slowly gaining more and more confidence and hope to feel much more at ease as Sonia in the near future. And of course I encourage you to take walks together with your other half, it doesn’t hurt anything, and it certainly brings you closer and deepens your relationship. Such events will probably never be forgotten by us.