It might seem that being in the environment of crossdressers (or perhaps rather genderfluid and transgender people), I would encounter very similar individuals, due to the nature or style of dressing. Nothing could be further from the truth; everyone is different, sometimes we vary greatly, and the only thing that connects us is the desire to express our feminine element.


I didn’t think I would acclimate so well in this environment, that I would have so many opportunities for meetings or parties, but it happened. All because three years ago, I dared to go with my wife to the Spring Outdoor Trans Party. We met fantastic people there, with whom we could freely talk about various topics and feel fully ourselves. This opened up possibilities for regular meetings in this group.

Indeed, I often got nervous before arriving at a meeting or party. Stomach aches and huge stress are a normal response of my body to something new, unknown. However, with each time it got better, and each party was always fondly remembered by me and my wife. Why? Because it is a group of very open, friendly people, no one pretends to be someone else, everyone is themselves. Often in everyday life, we hide our true nature, how we want to look, but here we can wear a dress, put on makeup, wear high heels, and enjoy a freedom that we won’t experience anywhere else.

My wife feels very comfortable in such company, even prefers this group to her work colleagues. I have the impression that at such normal parties or meetings, everyone to some extent pretends to be someone else, plays a certain social role assigned to that person. We try to be someone we are not just so that people will accept and like us. However, in the long run, it is tiring; isn’t it better to just be ourselves?


What exactly are the people at our parties and meetings like? Very different. There are those who perform very masculine jobs, there are of course people related to IT (although not as many as you might think), but also from practically every area of life. When it comes to profession, there are no rules. It is often heard that a guy in a dress is gay. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most of the people I know are not gay. Many have wives, partners. Sometimes it happens that the other half does not know about this specific hobby, but many are accepting, supportive. Some have children, some know, some don’t. There are a lot of different approaches to this issue and there is no universal rule; everyone copes with it in their own way.

Also, interests are very diverse. Basically, the only universal topic is fashion and makeup (and related topics). Otherwise, everyone likes to do something different in their free time. Some like to spend time with children, others go to parties, others are “nerds”. There is no one rule, no set pattern, what a genderfluid/crossdresser/nonbinary person should be like. Just like in the external world, so here in our inner world, there is a huge cross-section of interests and passions.


What I often notice is that each person has their own individual style when it comes to clothes, shoes, or makeup. Just as on the street we can meet women very differing in style, so here basically no one dresses similarly (unless my wife and I deliberately dress the same). There are people who like miniskirts and high heels, there are people who will wear pants to a club, or will try to blend into the crowd, but there are also people who like to attract attention. Some like the color pink, others more black, and still others will use all the colors. Everyone starts from something, searches for their style, tries many clothes, wigs, or makeup. Some will fit right away, some less. However, after some time, after a few meetings, I see how a certain style is created and often it is very natural for that person. Just like in the “normal” world.


What else I really like about such meetings is that we don’t just sit at home or in an apartment, we don’t hide from everyone. There are often outings to clubs, of course, preferably those LGBTQ friendly. Having compared it to those “normal” clubs, I much prefer the former. Because here no one pretends to be someone else, here no one wonders whether they may kiss or hug the person they love, but is of the same sex. Here everyone can look as they want, no one looks askance. I feel very good in such places, even though my introversion often says not to go there. However, I go and have a good time, being myself one hundred percent and I can dance with my wife wearing a dress, I can kiss her and no one will hurt us. I wish it was like that everywhere.


I am very glad that I have met so many fantastic people with whom I can be myself. Thanks to them, my life is full of colors, good fun, interesting conversations. There are not many such days in the year, but still, they are and they make me simply happier.