When and how do I tell my partner that I like women’s clothes and underwear? How to open yourself up to your loved one? Is it worth hiding this “hobby”? And why is it not a good idea to hide it?
Probably many crossdressers ask themselves these or similar questions. It is very difficult to live in constant hiding, to hide your belongings and accessories from the eyes of other people. It is like hiding an important part of our life when you live with your partner/wife under one roof. I cannot imagine coexisting with the other half and hiding my interests from her, no matter what they are. In my opinion, a healthy relationship should be built on honesty and trust. If we conceal something from the beginning, our relationship can get drastically worse with unexpected “detection”.
I realize that there are different people in the world and there is no universal recipe for a happy or successful relationship. Therefore, I would like to present how it looked from my perspective. And why I made these decisions and not other ones, and where it led us, me and my fiancée, to.
Our story began with a mobile app. We had a very good conversation over the Internet, so after a short time we managed to meet on our first date. Then there was another one and another one and another. Everything was going in the right direction. So good that after four months my second half moved into my apartment. My disguises stopped a bit. At that time, I had other, more pleasant things on my mind, namely this one person and sharing everyday life with her. But crossdressing was present in that time, hidden.
I was hoping that thanks to having a girlfriend, I wouldn’t have to dress up anymore. And why do I write “had to”? Because it is my inner need, which I cannot suppress or ignore completely. I just have to live with it. Now I understand and accept it, I know it is an integral part of my personality, but then I was still trying to stop it. But to no avail. The desire for disguises came with doubled force.
The time was passing slowly, our relationship was almost perfect. Except that I was still hiding my “other self”. But I knew that there would be a moment when there would be no turning back. Especially since we were planning to move to an another city. How long was the period from making the decision that I would tell her until the day when this happened? Probably three months, if I remember it correctly. A long time, but I know that others could have waited even longer.
I was afraid. I was afraid of rejection, lack of acceptance, misunderstanding or even end of the relationship. I was ready for any limitations brought by her. Although I felt that my girlfriend was one of those pearls you can read about on the Internet, that she would react well. But you can never be sure. And finally, the day came, the evening to be precise. My heart started to beat mercilessly. My whole body was trembling, my voice was breaking. This confession cost me a lot. We were sitting on the couch, turning towards each other and I started to confess. I told practically everything about it, what I like about women’s clothes and underwear and that I like to put them on. I do not know exactly how long the conversation lasted. It seemed like an eternity to me, every word spoken was a great burden for me. But she was smiling, listening to everything carefully and asking a few questions. She saw how much it meant to me. She accepted everything. No objections, no malice. It turned out that I found my pearl. I hadn’t shown my clothes that day, I hadn’t changed my clothes yet, it was to happen later.
A week later. I opened the box with my “treasures” and everything was thoroughly examined. And just like during the conversation, my girlfriend was smiling. She said that I could dress what I wanted. It was a hot day, so I chose a small black dress and heels (my only ones). Plus a necklace. And underwear. That’s all for a start. My legs were not shaved then, I didn’t have wigs either. I must have looked cut up. But she liked it. She saw my other face then, the happy one. And she fully accepted it. I felt great, the feeling of full acceptance was indescribable. My dreams came true. I could be fully myself towards my beloved person. I did not have to hide anything anymore, a huge burden fell from my shoulders.
And I realize that not everyone is as colorful as we are. But in my humble opinion, hiding this “hobby” is not a good idea. A constant life of stress, not being able to be yourself in your own home will not have a good influence on the relationship. And an unexpected discovery may have mourning consequences. After all, no one would want to be lied to during the whole period of the relationship. And this is how women feel when they find out about their husband’s disguises after a few or even several years. It is quite a shock for them. They feel deceived, they have tied themselves to a man they did not really know.
That’s why I think that as crossdressers we should be honest with our female partners and try to tell them about our interests as early as possible in order to avoid unpleasant situations in the future. I believe that everyone can find their pearl. And this is what I wish for every reader of this blog.