Who is a transvestite? Life through the eyes of a crossdresser is different from that of a common, stereotypical man. At least that’s what I think, because I can’t get into everyone’s head and look into their thoughts. I will try to describe what it looks like to look at the world of a male in today’s world and compare it with my own.
Transvestism - the practice of adopting the dress, the manner, and sometimes the sexual role of the opposite sex.
Cross-dressing - the wearing of clothes designed for the opposite sex.
Those are definitions which I found at www.merriam-webster.com. But what does it mean exactly?
A stereotypical guy is a self-confident man, satisfied with his body (no matter what it looks like), as long as it is “male”. He dresses in a common way, i.e. trousers, most often jeans, an ordinary t-shirt, a sweatshirt (sometimes he puts on a shirt), plus simple sneakers, sometimes a watch can be seen as an only part of the jewellery. And every piece of clothing fits with everything. There are no problems with getting dressed in the morning, it is enough that things do not smell much. Hairstyle that does not stand out from the crowd, hair of natural color.
Of course, I realize that not everyone looks like that, and I only deepen stereotypes. But are you sure? When you look at men walking down the street, you will meet many similarly dressed individuals. In this respect, I stand out because I wear a shirt, normal trousers (I just don’t like jeans) and elegant shoes (compared to sneakers).
How does a man look at a beautiful woman when he passes her on a walk? In most cases he will admire her charms, bust, legs or buttocks. He will look at her face, rate her on a scale from one to ten and say a nice epithet in his mind. When he is single, he may try to seduce her. It is unlikely that he will notice how much work this girl has put into her appearance, what accessories she has used, makeup and so on. Everyone says that they like naturalness in women, but when they see one without makeup, they are less interested (unless a girl is exceptionally gifted with beauty by nature).
It looks a little different in my case. You could say that I’m a combination of a man and a woman, with the former’s advantage. It probably sounds weird to some people, but that’s how I feel. Why? What have I got male in me?
I have typically masculine interests, such as sports and cars. I like to compete. My professional group is mostly man. I have a wonderful second half, we’re planning on starting a family. I dream of being a father. I have no problem with my body, I feel good in it. Most often I wear shirts, elegant pants and leather shoes. Such a masculine man! But…
But when I walk down the street, I often envy women for being able to dress what they want. From trousers to shirts, skirts, dresses to heeled shoes. I don’t know why, but I pay great attention to how a woman is dressed and imagine what it would be like to wear her clothes. I also look at hairstyles, painted nails, makeup or jewellery. My other self speaks through me! When I watch something on TV, for example a news program, I am happy to pay attention to the presenter’s outfit. Yes, their beauty also affects me, but the way they dress, their make up, affects me even more.
I also enjoy browsing through clothes or shoes on the Internet or in a shopping mall. It’s torturous for me to walk past a shop where you can see nice dresses with the knowledge that I can’t try them on and buy them on the spot. Unfortunately, my mood after such trips is often reduced. And the best rescue from it is to go home and dress up in women’s clothes.
I don’t know why I have it, I can’t explain it. I just like to dress up as a woman. You could say it’s my hobby, unusual, but still a hobby. At least that’s how I try to see it. And going back to my body, I don’t really like everything about it. I’m annoyed about my abundant hair. Shaving my legs or other parts takes an enormous amount of time. My nails are not the prettiest, mildly speaking. And I don’t have hips… But I’m not discouraged by it. I know I won’t do too much with it and I try to cover up my imperfections with clothes or makeup.
I will never be a biological woman, and I have no intention of changing the sex. I’m like Jekyll and Hyde. Two people in one body. And I’m good with it. The hardest part is probably just accepting who we are. A lot of people are depressed because they can’t be who they want to be and the people around them are trying to force their behavior. Unfortunately, this is hard to overcome. In such cases, it is very important to support your loved ones. Then everything is easier.
I have a wonderful second half that accepts me in full. Thanks to her, my life, despite the double role, is beautiful. And I wish all my readers to find what makes them happy and not to give it up.