Why am I crossdressing? Why do I like to put on women’s clothes and underwear? Why do I enjoy putting on make-up? And why is walking in heeled shoes so interesting?

##Dressing up in women’s clothes There is such a thing in women’s clothes that they have a very strong influence on me. The more feminine, the more pleasure I get from it. I can’t help but notice the store window, where beautiful dresses, skirts or underwear are on display. It gives me great pleasure when I look at these mannequins or even photos on the Internet. They are like a forbidden fruit, which I cannot reach. Theoretically.

Lace finishes, satin materials, tulle sleeves. It is all so pleasant when delicate materials touch my skin. It is a great pity that men have such a limited choice of fabrics compared to women. I don’t quite understand it, why limit yourself so much? And of course, different patterns and colors: flowers, dots, stripes and other waves. The whole range of colors and all of them can be seen on women’s clothes. There are so many elements of clothing to choose from. And I know perfectly well that this is an advantage when you can choose in such a number of clothes, but also a curse to make it all fit together when you decide what to wear.

And I can’t say why it works that way for me. It’s just that I feel better when I put on a dress. It also has its practical advantages, such as ventilation “from below” in the summer, so I like to wear skirts at home for comfort. With remote working it doesn’t matter much anyway. By the way, a men’s top and women’s bottom fit together, in my humble opinion. Maybe one day there will be such a fashion? That would be interesting…

Another practical thing are tights in winter. I do not like to wear underpants, they are too thick and very uncomfortable. Tights come in different thicknesses, you can choose depending on the conditions outside. And they are also very nice to touch. It gives me immeasurable pleasure when my smoothly shaved legs are covered by tights. It seems to be such a simple thing, for most people completely indifferent, and yet in my case it is something that makes my mood better.

##Make-up There is also something about make-up that makes me like to do it. It’s probably the awareness that with the right techniques I can make my face look more feminine. I can already hide my beard shadow (a very useful skill), I have no problem with eye shadowing or contouring. However, the greatest pleasure is to apply lipstick. It’s the feeling on my lips and the effect when you apply it perfectly. It is very satisfying in my case.

Yes, I still have a lot to learn, but my final effect satisfies me. Then I like to look in the mirror, see my work (and look for imperfections where I can improve). Sometimes I also take a selfie. When I put makeup on my face, I usually don’t feel it, but as soon as I see my reflection, a smile appears. I feel good then, and when combined with a wig, it seems that I am able to deceive passers-by about my true identity.

Heeled shoes

I don’t quite understand why heeled shoes are the domain of women only. It seems to me that this effect of emphasizing women’s silhouette, through a raised heel, would also be interesting for men. Maybe not necessarily in stilettos, but in chunky heels it would look cool. In total, in the seventies or eighties there were attempts by men to wear such shoes. And nobody probably had a problem with the fact, that it was unmanly.

And why do I like to walk in heeled shoes? Probably the same as women’s clothes and makeup: they are female. And they make my silhouette feminized, my legs have the right shape, my butt is sticking out, my back is straight. Of course, you have to walk in them properly (unfortunately, my observations show that not all women can do it), but with time it can be learned. And this clatter of heels works very positively on me. I love this sound when I walk down the street and hear: knock, knock, knock. I involuntarily look for the source of this sound in the hope that I will see beautiful shoes. And when this comes from me, I am in heaven.

I know that it sounds strange and for many even disgusting, because how can a guy like to dress up in women’s things, put makeup on and walk in heeled shoes? In this world we have, these items are reserved only for women. And maybe this is why they work on me in such a way that they are a forbidden fruit? Or maybe I just like them more, regardless of the sex to which they belong? I do not know the answer to these questions. I just like to dress up and I can’t give it up. It is as if a fisherman is forbidden to go fishing. It is possible, but he would miss it and would be a sadder person.