Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been working on my voice and I’m quite satisfied with the results. I devoted a lot of time to it and it wasn’t easy, but this was my resolution and I think I managed to fulfill it. I’ll try to describe the whole process.
Beginnings
I found a voice teacher, Ania Kamieńska from the Singing Academy, on the Internet. I saw recommendations from others, good reviews, so I got brave and wrote to her. After initial messages and filling out a form that helps Ania understand our needs (and preferred pronouns or name, Ania is very inclusive), the first online conversation took place. My first task was to speak on any topic for several minutes so she could assess my voice. I started talking about my garden, flowers, plants, which is my newest passion.
The diagnosis was quite brutal: low activity of the articulatory apparatus, slurred speech, lockjaw, closed-mouth speaking, nasalization, inaccurate diction, monotonous voice sound, lack of proper intonation and accentuation, quiet speech, dull voice, lack of breath support, lower voice, lack of upper resonance space activation, inactive “mask”, little facial expression work… There was quite a lot. I was aware that my speech was unclear and I could speak better, but I didn’t think there was so much to improve! To start feminizing my voice, I first had to improve my “normal” speech.
Speech Improvement
I had lessons once a week for an hour. It was almost always a video conversation. Thanks to this, I didn’t have to travel to Silesia, where Ania lives. Before each lesson, I would send a voice sample and a report of my weekly exercises. This allows us to track our progress and the teacher knows what we should work on that day.
At the beginning of my journey, I mainly received tasks for activating the articulatory apparatus. There were exercises for opening the mouth wider, mobilizing the tongue, jaw, and muscles around them. I remember walking my dog and doing these exercises along the way. It was winter and dark, so nobody could see me anyway. I had some muscle soreness in different parts of my face, but thanks to regular work and lessons, I was able to significantly improve my everyday speech. It also affected my mood and self-esteem because I felt that people understood me better and listened more attentively. Even for such a change, it’s worth signing up for lessons with Ania or another teacher. Now I see, or rather hear, how some people have very monotonous voices, making it difficult to focus on listening. University lecturers should take such a course mandatorily; maybe fewer students would sleep during lectures.
Ania prepares all exercises herself, there’s a lot of reading poems, often children’s ones. This is good at the beginning when we want to improve our pronunciation, so we practice with rather simple words. Over time, these poems become increasingly difficult to read and end with interesting tongue twisters. Just as before I had problems with more difficult words, now I can read them freely.
Raising the Voice
To use a feminine voice, we need to raise its pitch. This is not an easy task when we’ve gone through mutation during puberty. It’s also not entirely safe. If we do it without proper knowledge, we can permanently damage our voice. That’s why it’s important to do this under the guidance of someone experienced.
To speak in a high voice when having a male body, we need to put in a lot of effort. That’s why breathing exercises are important to increase our capabilities. It mainly involves the rib and diaphragmatic breathing. Without this, we won’t be able to form longer utterances. There were interesting exercises for raising the voice using a straw and a glass of water. Thanks to these tools, I could safely practice upper resonators without worrying about damaging my vocal cords. When I was sufficiently prepared, I could start trying to speak with a higher tone. It wasn’t easy and the effect wasn’t spectacular. However, nobody said it would be quick and pleasant. Important in my case was that I could freely practice at home, talking with my wife. I’ll repeat myself, but regularity is most important here. Even ten minutes a day devoted to exercises will bring satisfying effects over time. I’m an impatient person myself and it’s very hard for me to motivate myself to do tasks when I have to wait so long for effects. That’s why it’s so hard for me to learn to play guitar well. However, in the case of voice, I had much more motivation. I wanted to feel comfortable and safe being myself. I wanted to like my voice.
Voice Feminization
After many months of lessons and exercises, when my voice had a satisfactory pitch, it was time to improve intonation and accentuation. Women not only speak higher than men, but also use a wider scale, emphasize words more strongly, “play” with their voice, it’s not so monotonous. I wonder if this is an innate trait or acquired through our society and the role imposed on each gender. I’m more inclined to believe the latter, which makes it possible to learn.
My character also influences how I speak; I’m an introverted person, rather shy, so it’s obvious that I won’t speak very vigorously. However, I can learn certain techniques and that’s what the exercises are about too, improving the way one speaks, facial expressions, and gestures. I’m glad I can practice all this with my wife, I don’t have to hide anything and I feel comfortable with her.
Difficulties
Of course, not everything goes perfectly. It’s worst in the morning when I wake up, my voice often has hoarseness, is lower. It’s important then to warm up the voice, give it some time, and not get discouraged. It will get better with time.
Similarly with more stressful situations, in shops or restaurants. It’s also harder for me to maintain a high tone there because I know there’s no room for corrections. Practice is most important, using this voice as often as possible, thanks to which I’ll be able to speak more freely in every situation.
Summary
Am I satisfied with the effects after almost a year of the course? Yes, definitely. I feel a huge difference compared to what was ten months ago. I’ve accepted my voice, I like it more and more. And I can wholeheartedly recommend Ania Kamieńska and her Singing Academy. If you live in Silesia, you can practice with her in person, if not, she’s available online. She’s inclusive, doesn’t discriminate against anyone, everyone is welcome. She has enormous knowledge and experience, creates many exercises, adapts to the student’s pace.
If you want to blend into the crowd, work a bit on your voice. It makes a difference. Because you can look super feminine and have very good passing, but your voice will give you away and people will address you as “Sir” instead of “Ma’am”. Sometimes they’ll do it not even fully consciously, because they hear a male voice, so automatically in their brain there’s an association with “sir”. I write this with some regret, because I wish there was as little misgendering as possible, but unfortunately we live in a world where patterns and stereotypes exist, so either we blend into the crowd or we stand out. I prefer the first option, how about you?
